Wednesday, June 23, 2010

(My Confession- from my Nicaragua blog)

So... I don't know if you know, but we're not really supposed to get into a relationship during this trip. And I'll admit, that's pretty good advice- it takes your attention from the trip and the reason for being down here, which is God. But, I have a confession- I'm in love. (for those that don't like love stories, maybe stop here cause it'll probably get a little mushy)
Here's the story:
Now our relationship has been a difficult one... He has been pursuing me for awhile. At first, I was na├»ve and thought "Not me. I'm not that great. Other girls sure... but me? Makes no sense." Then, once I realized that He was serious about pursuing and started telling me how much I meant to Him, I got swept away as most girls are when first pursued and desired. But then, after I began to believe that this amazing love was for me, I began to wonder what His intentions were. Why me? What did He want from me? Whenever I asked Him all He would say is"I want you. All of you. Your past, your future. Your hurts, your joys, your desires. I want you to want me. I want your entire heart." Now, when someone tells you they want your heart, there's a choice. You can either give it to them or not. And at first, I wanted to just be in a partial relationship- sometimes those relationships are called "friendships with benefits"; like, I could go to Him when I needed comfort or maybe if He needed me for something, I could be there for Him. But I was really iffy about giving Him my heart.  It's something that is so precious and so easily broken. However, all He kept saying was "Trust me." [which is a struggle for me] He continued to bring it up to me and ask me, slowly and deliberately how much of myself I would give Him. I would try to avoid the question at first, cause I knew that my answer would disappoint. And I knew each time I couldn't say "Yes" to Him, I hurt Him a little more. But His love was evident in the fact that He continued to pursue me... when others would have stopped. His obvious love and desire for me- this warrior Prince- finally captured me. I've finally realized that I have no reason to doubt Him. He's always been trustworthy, I've never felt alone, and His love for me is evident. And I am head-over-heels in love. And I don't care who knows.
For those of you that might not have caught on, I'm talking about God. Don't worry, I'm not breaking the rules ;-)
So that basically concludes my story. Ummm...ya
The End
(written 1/26/2009)

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