To Open My Eyes

I hate it when you get to a realization that you've actually known for awhile.

You just didn't want to admit it.

Me?

I constantly moan and groan (as most girls do) about my body.

I complain about how I don't feel good about it and I wish I could get it in shape.

{but it's not a real puzzlement why it's not doing what I'd like, not with the daily Starbucks frappucinos, ice cream binges, candy jar raids}

It's not that I want to be Barbie.

We all know that's unrealistic.

Nor do I want to be a size 2.

That, for me, would only happen if I became anorexic or bulimic.

I have hips. I have a butt. I like them.

But I do want to be in shape and feel comfortable in my body.

However, I continue to make excuses whenever I drive through Starbucks or reach for another bowl of icecream.

{Apparently I think that all the Starbucks, icecream and every sweet thing will disappear tomorrow and I must eat as much of it as I can}

My friend, Jenn's, favorite line that I say is "the reality of the situation is..."

I think I shall use it

the reality of my situation is that

I KNOW what I need to do.

It's just not as fun.

This world is not a good teacher in the lesson of delayed gratification.

We want, what we want, now.

And we usually get it.

I need to start denying myself.

Because I know that it isn't helping me.

I don't come away from eating three bowls of ice cream feeling better.

I don't look back on alot of my eating decisions saying, "yes, that was healthy and was good for my body."

{more like, "i'm so sorry body, please forgive me"}

and Starbucks?

Yes, it's yummy.

but the cons definitely outweigh the pros.

Cons:

Money (my drink is basically $5- you do the math)

usually out of my way to get it

ALL sugar

probably am slightly addicted to it at this point

{plus, now i'm known by name at a starbucks- not really a good thing}

Pros:

yummy

Wow.

and I've known this for awhile.

Sometimes I need to just write these things down.

Then they stick more.

Basically, I know that the eating habits I have suck.

They don't help my body and they don't help my mood.

And my body is a temple, I shouldn't be filling it with junk, because then I don't have the energy to do what I need to do- whatever God calls me to at the moment.

I need to open my eyes and see myself how God and other's around me see me.

And even if I don't believe it, I need to live up to it.